NotebookThree.UnNumbered.birthday_thoughts_90 by j z provo 1 oct 90 12h49 one day before my 'birthday'. one day before i am suddenly older. one day for much work to be done. one more day to realize what has yet to be done ...what has been undone. one more day of broken dreams, supressed desires, and buried regrets. near five years since Death shook me Awake; near five years since Love opened my eyes. near five years I have been alternately Remembering and Rejecting these Gifts. near five years of alcoholic haze, edited memories, erased nightmares, and piss-poor 'art'. The Immortals look down upon me in anger. I am pummeled, beaten, bruised and abused; They try to kick me to action... ...and i just sit. my blood flows as my name; eyes nose mouth chest arms become a pulsating crimson river of pain. Within it i find my solace: drowned in my own blood.