You might work in software if...

 1. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 3 different
    companies.
 2. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
 4. Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.
 5. You have to call home to check the weather.
 6. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
 7. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
 8. You learn about your layoff on CNN.
 9. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best
    jokes.
10. Your supervisor lacks the ability to do your job.
11. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
12. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all
    the Third World countries' annual budgets.
13. Your home computer has none of the features you developed because
    you're never there.
14. Your 2 yr old kid knows how to get to your company and to your
    cube. And it is referred to as daddy's/mommy's room.
15. You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
16. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
17. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
18. Communication is something your group is having problems with.
19. You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
20. A tie is hanging in your cube.
21. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
22. Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
23. Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
24. Art involves a white board.
25. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
26. When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
27. You work 200 hours 'overtime' for the $100 recognition check and
    then jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"
28. All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.
29. Everyone fights fires (i.e. problems).
30. Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
31. Plants in your cube are healthier than your plants at home.
32. Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in
    your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity
    for you".
33. Of the people you work with, no one (boss included) knows what
    they do.
34. Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get
    every January.
35. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
    computers" or "does something with defense".
36. Change is the norm.
37. Nepotism is encouraged.
38. The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures
    are hanging in your cube.
39. You only have makeup for flourescent lighting.
40. You read this entire list and understood it.