MC in the US: OSFC, SF, Seattle, Microsoft

"Dress up like a slightly conservative IT management guy! That will make it easier to cross the US border." That was what a friend said. I actually considered it for a while.

But no, I couldn't really bring myself to do that. I mean, I don't have to wear a t-shirt with Chaos Computer Clubs' Rote Armee Fraktion-inspired Sterntastatur on it, but to go so far as to pretend to be something else entirely?

Instead, I went like this:

Later, at SFO:

CBP: What is the purpose of your visit?
MC: Business!
CBP: Welcome to the United States!

That was unexpectedly easy, but I guess CBP at SFO see a lot of slightly gothy nerds?

I couldn't sleep at all on the 11 hours on the plane. Luckily, I wasn't the one driving the rental from SFO to Mountain View. That would have been bad, not just because I don't have a driver's license.

We lived in an unnecessarily expensive (650 USD/night!) but not very luxurious hotel in Mountain View. With a little luck on a clear day I could see the top of Hangar 1 at Moffet Field from my hotel window, but mostly I saw a highway. OK, it was probably Highway 101 and that made me think of Sisters' Black Planet, which was good.

We stayed at the hotel for an extra two nights before the conference to figure out our jetlag (didn't work) and to plan and rehearse a little (better).

The actual conference was quite good. Got to meet a lot of interesting people and had interesting conversations. Some good talks as well.

Unfortunately we mostly saw something like this, but that isn't uncommon in cases like this:

The catering wasn't able to arrange food for me all the days. Being vegan with a soy allergy isn't easy. Eris knows I had been worried about it myself. Some nice googlers brought me to a Google employee restaurant for lunch a couple of times (thanks again, Chris and Ana!).

Some notable talks at OSFC 2023:

• "US Cyber Trust Mark", something like the EU CRA, but a consumer marking of products, among other things guarantees about software updates and what this means for firmware developers and manufacturers. I didn't know this was coming in the US. Might be good, at least for consumers.
• "Tamago & Tinygo: working with firmware and kernel written in Go". Good walkthrough on how you can actually use Go at this low level. Even the BBC Microbit 2 with just 128 kB is now supported by TinyGo! Promising for a future attempt at bringup of Go on the TKey. Got to talk to the speaker, Ron Minnich, both before and after his talk.
• "Unplugging the debugger: Live and post-mortem debugging in a remote system". Extremely ambitious handling of remote debugging of the Hubris operating system, both kernel and processes, on the top of rack box in an Oxide rack.
• "When boot security goes wrong". Very brave presentation about how a Chromebook model secure boot perhaps wasn't.

Dayjob boss Sasko held a talk with a short update on the TKey. Fredrik, one of our founders, held a longer talk about authentication of transparent systems, the next level of the System Transparency project. I don't think the room really got that one. Admittely he was kind of all over the place with the talk.

I held a workshop about software development for the TKey, focusing mainly on a code walkthrough on both a client and a device app, the tkey-sign command (before the refactoring I did later) and the corresponding signer. My colleague dehanj was supposed to do it with me but got sick and had to stay at the hotel!

I think the workshop went quite well. Had a very enthusiastic audience of about 15 people who had a lot of good questions. Had some nice discussions afterwards as well.

All the talks should be available on the web site. Unfortunately the workshops weren't recorded.

https://www.osfc.io/archive/2023/

There was also a table with free hardware:

I got an old Thinkpad x230 with Coreboot! I don't know yet if it has patched EC firmware. Might be a problem if it doesn't because then I can't use third party batteries and I probably have no way of patching it without the original BIOS.

Notice anything different with it?

There was also an evening trip to Oxide Computer Company in Emeryville but by that time I was so tired and stressed out that I just noped out and tried to sleep instead. It would have been interesting to visit Oxide but I just couldn't do it.

Didn't see a lot of Mountain View and Sunnyvale. What I saw were mostly business park office buildings. Not that downtown Mountain View, if there even is such a thing, was much better.

After OSFC I needed something completely different, so I spent four days in San Francisco.

I went by double-decker train from Sunnyvale to SF directly after OSFC concluded. That was fine but a little slow. This, it seems, is a trend with US trains.

I took the Muni from the station to the Haight. I sat on the Muni tram re-reading Gibson's Virtual Light when I saw the lights of the Bay Bridge in the dark! I giggled with excitement.

I stayed at the much cheaper Stanyan Park Hotel, right next to Golden Gate Park.

The first thing I did was get a pizza and a beer that I brought to the room:

This being SF there's not just a Gideonite bible by the bed:

I approve!

The hotel TV greeted me with the great but slightly embarassing "The Lost Boys":

But hey, it's Kiefer Sutherland! I felt very welcome.

The hotel was in a really nice neighbourhood and I just loved the huge park, its ravens, the many squirrels, and, surprisingly, parrots!

In the Haight I especially liked the Bound Together anarchist bookstore and, just across the street, the Magnolia brewpub named after the 70's burlesque artist with the wonderful name Magnolia Thunderpussy. Coffee to the People was nice, too, as well as the Science Fiction bookstore Borderlands.

I bought a t-shirt and the latest Cometbus zine at Bound Together. As you can probably guess, Cometbus is really hard to get a hold of in Sweden.

I walked around some in SF, not just Haight and the park. I took the Muni downtown, walked through Chinatown to North Beach, just looking at things.

My goal was really City Lights Books, the original beatnik bookstore and publisher.

I found some nice Gary Snyder at City Lights and then went across Kerouac Street (Yes! Really!) to the equally legendary Vesuvio bar for a beer or two. I sat at a table reading Gary's lovely translation of the amazing buddhist Tang dynasty poet 寒山/Hánshān: "Cold Mountain Poems". I've read them before in different translations but I like Gary's the most.

My old colleague Sean met up one evening and showed me around in the office building he works in. Wonderful view of the Bay bridge. Their cool speakeasy rooms were a nice surprise but I was slightly saddened by their superficial "Zen room".

We went on a pub crawl, starting with Fort Point by the ferry. This was the first time I noticed that kölsch beer (Fort Point's KSA) is a thing in California. I later saw that again in Magnolia's Kali Kolsch. Both quite nice. Of course they pronounced it wrong, but it was good.

We then went on to Zeitgeist, a very alternative biergarten, with the nice Tom Waits-inspired motto "Warm beer. Cold women". I was a little surprised that they checked ID on everyone, even a bald guy with a white beard like me.

Sitting in the garden at Zeitgeist I couldn't help myself looking at the beautiful redhead at the next table. When she noticed she met my gaze and split into a wonderful smile. She left with her friends later and nothing happened, but it was… interesting. Sean said something like "Oh, you liked her alright!" I guess I'm kind of obvious like that.

Then it hit me… I have never experienced so much flirting! Just walking down the street in the Haight… Wow. Standing in a bar. Wherever. Eyes linger, people smile, and some of them come up and talk to you. Was it like this on my visit to Seattle in 2017, too? Did I just forget? Or is this just (alternative) Californian women?

We continued to a few other places, Toronado gets a special mention, and then I walked home to the hotel.

Another night I went to the Hubba Hubba Revue's show "Vampires!" at DNA Lounge. I would have liked to go to Death Guild, but I couldn't be there on the day, but of course I had to experience JWZ's DNA Lounge when in SF, right? And see the phone! Also, hey, a burlesque show!

Dammit! I forgot to bring stickers!

The show was nice and very body positive. I especially liked the finishing act with both a man and a woman. But what's up with the single-serve plastic glasses at DNA?

Again, a lot of beautiful people smiled and let their gaze linger. One brunette in particular did a double take when she saw me and then smiled hugely. Double take? Did she recognize me? Do I have a Californian doppelgänger?

I was standing on the second floor next to the mixing console at DNA. After a while I was surrounded by burlesque performers, most of them still in their outfits, or, well, sometimes almost no outfit. Unexpected, but certainly nice.

The next day I had to work. I stayed in the hotel lobby for most of the afternoon, working on a laptop, got some provisions, and even managed to meet my friend Ian for another pizza before trying to find the bus stop for the next leg of the journey.

I still had a lot to discover in SF, but I was happy with my four days there. I wanted to visit my friend Roberth in PNW as well while I was still in the US.

SF is a really interesting and nice place, except that it's quite obvious that a lot of people there don't get the help they need. Lots of unhoused people and lots of people with drug problems.

Amtrak's connecting bus to the Coast Starlight train to Seattle goes from a bus stop right in front of Chase Bank in FiDi. Strange location for a bus to the train station in Emeryville, perhaps, but it felt rather safe, and was just a few minutes from the pub I had ended up at, Louie's. Walking from Rad Radish, where I had had pizza with Ian, to Louie's at the edge of Tenderloin felt much less safe.

When I arrived at the bus stop some people were already waiting. Everyone looked up when I arrived. A beautiful alternative girl (AG) then smiled and even waved a little. I thought she maybe misstook me for someone else. The doppelgänger strikes again? Or was she just really friendly?

Stupidly, I didn't even talk to her and instead respectfully stood some way away. I mean, we could have just talked. Might have made a less lonely journey. But it was such a strange situation, at a bus stop at night in a forsaken financial district. I didn't want to appear creepy or threatening. I feel like a monster often enough as it is.

The bus took us to Emeryville Station, then we had to wait for over an hour and a half for the train. The journey didn't start that well. I read some more in Cometbus #59 and had a roof over my head, so it wasn't all bad.

Then, at last, we were on Amtrak's Coast Starlight Superliner to Seattle! Huge double-decker train with twin diesel locomotives. I was expecting 21 hours on the train. As I said, trains in the US are slow and, for some reason, freight trains have priority? It felt so backwards to this euro mind.

I managed to sleep some on the train. Surprisingly there was a lot of legroom even in coach and you could tilt the seat way back, even turn up a little leg rest.

When I woke up the sun was coming up over misty Oregon mountains and rivers without end (see what I did?). AG was sleeping in the seat in front of me. I was otherwise surrounded by some Amish or Mennonite families in traditional clothing. They spoke a strange, almost understandable German with a lot of American loanwords. It was really interesting to try to understand what the beautiful 20-something daughters said.

When AG woke up some time later the Mennonites were gone. AG looked around a little, met my eyes over her tilted back seat, smiled again, and then took off her t-shirt! She quickly put on another but, uh…, that was interesting. A lot of skin, no bra. Obviously a very relaxed person. I was clearly not perceived as a threat, monster or not.

Not too many crazies on the trip. Some guy went back and forth a lot until the conductor had had it and figured out that they had forgot where they were sitting. Or maybe didn't belong on the train at all. Another guy came through the car a couple of times praying loudly. But that was all.

As I had suspected there wasn't much for me to eat on the train. They actually had some vegan options, though, and they had beer, of course. I was glad I had shopped my own food.

We were actually a little early to Seattle! The train made up for being late to Emeryville. Amazing, considering how slow it was.

Roberth picked me up by car in Seattle and brought me to his place. I later crashed and slept for nine hours and woke up before the alarm clock. That was amazing! Dreamt a lot. Finally. I had missed dreaming.

This was not like the other nights in the US. Had a lot of trouble falling asleep, typically four-five hours of just tossing around, trying to sleep. I got something like four hours of sleep per night during most of the visit.

I worked from R's for a couple of days, but didn't manage to get a lot done. Very stressed, nervous, and tired. Managed some PR reviews and worked some on the next talk. I cooked for me and R a couple of times and sometimes we went out for food. R is certainly the perfect host!

On Friday it was time for my talk at Microsoft! I was really nervous. R looked up how many people had signed up. 54 people! Including people from Research. Wow. He was surprised, too. In the end something like 30+ showed up, all of them, besided R and me, were remote! That was also unexpected. I could have done this from home!?

We both thought the talk went well. Phew! I mean, I was explaining things about DICE-like measured boot to some of the people who invented it!

We went to Canon for cocktails to celeberate. 5000 bottles in the house! And chilled Chartreuse on tap! I just had to have one. Very goth. The very fancy I.W. Harper bourbon (was it the 15 year-old?) was better, of course.

During my stay in Seattle we also went to The Pine Box Bar, the old mortuary turned bar! What's not to like!? Of course I also visited the Anarchist bookshop Left Bank Books at Pike Place. I bought a t-shirt and the latest 2600 and paid with a lot of tips. A lot. Like a small donation, I suppose.

One night we met up with our old net.friend Caitlin from Future Culture and her husband at Cafe Flora. Meeting Caitlin AFK was like continuing a conversation that started online a very long time ago. I think I joined in 1992 and C in 1993? We had never met before! This led to a flurry of messages between me and C that keeps on going.

When I went to fetch more beers for us at a pub we ended up at later, a young woman in all black at the bar again did that double-take and smiled a lot. Not just alternative Californian women, then?

On Sunday I left for Sweden again, going SEA-ORD-CPH. Four hours to Chicago with about 2 hours there, then about 8 hours more. In a cramped bus-like structure with terrible noise. Ugh… Had a lot of thoughts about taking Queen Mary 2 for the next trip. Not even sure it's more environmentally sound, but at least it's more comfortable.

While changing planes in Chicago I managed to lose my black overcoat. Another sacrifice to Eris. The last one was my hat on the previous trip to the US. Perhaps a sacrifice to the goddess of chaos, confusion, and discord is necessary for having visited the US?

Managed to sleep perhaps just 1:30 hours so I was quite tired when I arrived at home, but it felt good to be home, at first.

The week after was a case of quite serious post-travel blues. I didn't even know this feeling had a name before, but it's not just me, apparently. Not a great week, anyway. Feeling sad, guilty, and restless even to the point of thoughts of self-harm. The self-hatred just grew and grew.

Spent a lot of time in a nostalgic mood, searching for and reading old e-mail messages. Example quote (translated): "the time with you was the worst in my life" reminding me about a very… frustrating relationship. On the other hand I also found a lot of sweet messages.

All the stress and little sleep also took somatic expressions. I had awful neck pain that stayed for a couple of weeks. My old beard ecsema also flared up so I had to shave most of it off.

On the other hand #3 says I look a lot younger now. That's something, I guess.

The cottage kitchen renovation still isn't quite finished but we decided to spend some time at the cottage anyway. Slightly complicated with no working stove but we managed with a small portable induction stove.

I stayed on for a couple of more days when #3 and P went back to the city. The nature around the cottage can be quite soothing and I think I needed that after the journey.

This too shall pass.